The Best Bondage Toys for Beginners

When you hear the acronym BDSM, what comes to your mind? Most people have a very living association with it where they think of all kinds of kinky fantasy images, sensations and sounds. Kink and BDSM are two different niche categories if we divide them into different sex activities and the experience is also different. For example, BDSM can be a Kink of someone, but Kink is not always BDSM. What Kink and BDSM do have in common is that they both play with the imbalance of power, also known as Dominance (Dominant, a dom) and Submissive (Submissive, the sub). By playfully balancing between Dominance and Submissive in the bedroom, you can strengthen the satisfying bond with your partner. In addition, it also contributes to strengthening your mutual communication and opening up vulnerable to each other.

In this blog I want to talk to you about the B in BDSM: Bondage. Thanks to the Fifty Shades of Gray movies and books, BDSM has attracted a whole new audience. Suddenly we all became curious about sex toys that allow you to play with power relations in the bedroom. Seasoned BDSM aficionados will say that Fifty Shades of Gray BDSM sex toys are rather "vanilla" (that is, suitable for soft and beginner work), but they will also agree with me when I say that you should start with what feels good. There are all kinds of different BDSM brands, such as Fetish Fantasy, Sportsheets, Secret Play, Taboom, MyStim, ranging from vanilla to the more coarse work. So this time we are talking about Bondage and in English it is called Restraints or Restraint Systems. The idea of ​​this is to play with the dynamics between the Dom and the Sub where the Dom is in control and the Sub surrenders to it. This shifts the responsibility to the Dom, who is now in charge and thereby provides a comfortable and safe environment for the Sub. The Sub in turn is at the mercy of the Dom. The clear distinction in responsibilities during the BDSM role play allows for a surrender to the pleasure of discomfort, gives extra layering to the complexity of the experience and of course offers a nice trip away from your everyday life. 

How do you choose a Bondage sex toy?

Before you immediately throw in a set of handcuffs, hog-tie, spreader bar and a few meters of Shibari bondage rope, it is good to think about what exactly you are planning. What do you and your partner need and which bondage sex toys fit that. Be aware of the differences in material and its durability, comfort and the eye also want something so look at what visually appeals to you. Leather, metal, rubber, rope, and neoprene, for example, are strong materials that can take a beating and last a long time. Keep in mind that materials that are naturally less soft can cause bruising or chafing due to pressure on certain body parts such as the wrists. You can be well prepared for this by choosing restraint systems that have a quilted lining. There is plenty of choice in bondage sex toys that are functional and comfortable at the same time. For example, restraints lined with imitation bond, sheep's wool and velvet are not only pleasant to wear, but they also look elegant and trendy. As a Vegan BDSM member you naturally go for vegan leather, often indistinguishable from the real thing (with smell and all) and very sustainable.

The Most Popular Bondage Sex Toy: Handcuffs and Ankle Cuffs

Handcuffs and Ankle Cuffs are the most famous and very popular bondage toys that have the function of limiting the movement of the arms and legs. Buoys are often the first Bondage choice for beginners and it's a fun way to discover together what limiting the range of motion does to you. Handcuffs and ankle cuffs are basically the same, except that ankle cuffs are often a bit wider (because ankles are bigger than wrists). And often you can disconnect hand and ankle cuffs (per set) from each other, so that you have more freedom in choosing the position that your partner has. For example, do you tie the hands together, or do you click them loose, after which you attach the hands to the bed separately from each other. The choice is huge! For those who have a knack for retreating during the heat of battle (read: when the stimulation gets too hot and intense and it's hard to surrender) handcuffs can challenge you to surrender completely.

What are Hog Ties?

You have probably seen them in a sex shop: Hog Ties. The Hog Ties is an X-shaped bondage toy that allows you to tie the hands and feet at the same time. At the same time, a Hog Tie ensures that the wearer no longer has any freedom of movement because the knees are brought closer to the body. Most Hog Ties come with a set of handcuffs and ankle cuffs, but there are also Hog Ties that are sold separately so that you can attach your own handcuffs and ankle cuffs.

Spreading legs with a Spreader Bar.

A Spreader Bar is a bondage sex toy that looks like a bar with hand or ankle cuffs on both ends. You place a Spreader bar between the feet, after which you attach the ankle cuffs to the ankles. You can also wear a Spreader Bar on the wrists and in that case the upper body is no longer under the control of the wearer, the sub. Wearing a Spreader Bar, such as the Bondage Bar from Sportsheets, therefore ensures that the legs or arms are spread and this makes the wearer more vulnerable, but also gives room for a more deep penetration. Some Spreader Bars are adjustable, so you can determine the spread of the legs or arms yourself.

Hands up with a D-Ring Bondage Harness

For this Bondage sex toy it is nice if the wearer has some flexibility in the arms and shoulders, because a D-ring bondage harness is used to bring the wrists closer to the neck. This puts more and more pressure on the wrists and that puts light pressure on the neck. A D-ring harness, such as this one from Fetish Fantasy, is provided with several D-rings so that you can increase the pressure a little more when the wearer finds it pleasant (important!).

The Position Master

The Position Master, the name already gives it away, you use to put your partner in a certain desired position during your Sub and Dom game. The most famous is the Fetish Fantasy Handcuffed Position Master, which allows you to have your partner lie and sit in all kinds of different positions. The positions that you can take or have taken with a position master provide access to deep penetration.

Japanese rope bondage: Shibari

Shibari is a Japanese bondage style that uses special bondage rope. At Shibari, the sub is tied, but the rope is applied in a certain pattern. This pattern creates pressure on certain erogenous zones, restricting the freedom of movement and determines which sensations the sub receives. Shibari is a bondage art form in which it is not only about the sub and dom ratio, but also the visual and aesthetic aspect. To become proficient in Shibari, it is wise to read yourself well and/or follow workshops from experienced Shabari practitioners.

Because BDSM is a form of intimacy based on trust, it is important to arrange the overall safety of your bondage game beforehand. So before you start, think about what measures you can take that contribute to an unforgettable BDSM experience for you and your partner. The golden basic rules are, SSSC: Safe (safe), Sane (sensible), Sober (sober), Consensual (consensual, both parties agree). Always use common sense and never leave your partner tied up alone in the room. And when you tie up your partner, always make sure that there is not too much pressure on the body. It is important that the blood circulation and air supply are not disturbed. Communicate with each other, ask questions: do you like this? Never assume that the other person experiences the same pleasure as you, don't make assumptions; but check by asking questions. Always have safety tools on hand in case of an emergency and agree on a safety word (or hand gesture, or signal), such as saying unicorn or raising a finger. When this is indicated, immediately stop your activities and worry about the safety (both physical and mental) of your partner. Aftercare is also important, aftercare you do immediately after you have finished your bonage game, but it is of course a topic that can be discussed as often as you need. Always be open and honest with each other and reflect on your bdsm play, this will help you navigate through needs and wants.